我同書籍,即將分離。我雖非英雄,頗有垓下之感,即無可奈何。
Soon I'll part with my books; I'll have to, the way the ancient hero Xiang Yu parted with his favorite lady Yu at Gaixia.
這些書,都是在全國解放以后,來到我家的。最初零零碎碎,中間成套成批。有的來自京滬,有的來自蘇杭。最初,囊中羞澀,也曾交臂相失。中間也曾一擲百金,稍有豪氣??傊瑫r(shí)歷三十余年,我同他們,可稱故舊。
The books had arrived at my home since 1949, the year the country was liberated (from KMT rule). At first they came piecemeal and, later, in set of bulk, some from Beijing and Shanghai, some from Suzhou and Hangzhou. During the first few years, as I was financially embarrassed, sometimes I had to turn from the books that I would have liked to give everything in exchange for. However, there were occasions on which I threw my money on books with quite a sense of lavish generosity. In short, having kept them company for over 30 years, I felt lifelong intimacy with them all.
十年浩劫,我自顧不暇,無心也無力顧及它們。但它們輾轉(zhuǎn)多處,經(jīng)受折磨、潮濕、踐踏、撞破,終于還是回來了。失去了一些,我有些惋惜,但也不愿去尋覓它們,因?yàn)槲沂サ臇|西,比起它們,更多也更重要。
During the ten yeas of the disastrous Cultural Revolution I was not in the mood to, nor was I fit enough to bother about my books, as I was not sure where I myself would end up. But, having been taken from place to place, getting moistened and damaged, tortured and trampled underfoot, they eventually had come back to me. Some of them had just got lost, for I had had more to loose in those years and what I had lost was far more important than the books.
它們回到寒舍以后,我對(duì)它們的情感如故。書無分大小、貴賤、古今、新舊,只要是我想保存的,因之也同我共過患難的,一視同仁。洗塵,安置,撫慰,唏噓,它們大都體味到了。
After their return home I felt about them with the same affection as I did earlier. I treated them alike, whether they were big or small, old or new, expensive or inexpensive, classical or contemporary, since they had been in my collection, therefore, gone through thick and thin with me. I would sign with significance, when I dusted and caressed them and then found a place for them to go to. I guessed they must have sensed how I felt about their return.
近幾年,又為它們添加了一些新伙伴。當(dāng)這些新書,進(jìn)入我的書架,我不再打印章,寫名字,只是給它們包裹一層新裝,記下到此的歲月。
During the past couple of years I had found them some new companions. I no longer stamped my seal or wrote my name on them. When I put them on the bookshelves, I only clothed them with a new cover and marked the date of their arrival.
這是因?yàn)椋乙庾R(shí)到,我不久就會(huì)同它們告別了。我的命運(yùn)是注定了的。但它們各自的命運(yùn),我是不能預(yù)知,也不能擔(dān)保的。
This was because I was well aware that it would not be long before I bid farewell to my books; my fate has been predestined. As for what would happen to theirs, I could not foretell, much less could I guarantee.
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